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Stand by me oh God
of my tribe and lift me
into the surety of my destiny.
Steady the hands and hearts
of those who will touch
and change me
if you deem that good
and settle me into your peace
that passes all understanding.
May Your healing rays
burn through all blocks
and hesitations.
And while I must turn inward
for now protect all whom I love,
all who love me, known and not known,
past, present and not yet.
Place me in the best of worlds
and return to me what is mine.
Please remove from me all that is not.
I hope You and I agree
there is much yet to do
but if there is not,
then I will go peacefully.
Whatever comes next,
I am ever in Your debt.
Thanks to you, my tribe
and thanks as well to You
oh my God.
If I were a religious, I would say "Amen" to that prayer. May God watch over you in the coming days.
ReplyDeleteIf I were religious I could not have written this prayer in this fashion. It is far from the Christian mainstream. It is not Hindu or Buddhist in form and it is infinitely far from Muslim form. I write from the inner space that was installed in me the night I turned twenty one. That place has evolved over the studies and experiences of the next 47 years but the stream has never been broken nor has it been dammed up for long at any point. Thank you for your good wishes, Tom.
DeleteI am done for now with the surgery and it went well as far as it could go well. The vitreal humor has been removed and laser surgery has tacked the retina back down to lessen the likelihood that any stray replacement fluid from the vitreal chamber can get under the retina. Unfortunately but as expected, there will be bleeding behind the retina that will not allow any full reattachment. The doctors explained that if they try for better attachment they just shred the retina because it is too delicate.
As for the rest, I am in good shape for the shape I am in.
So glad you are thus far through, dear Christopher, thinking of you and wishing you sincerely well. Take care.
ReplyDeleteOver on faceBook I wrote this post op: "Surgery went well, meaning nobody screwed up and all goals except miracles were accomplished. It would take a miracle to get any of the 90% of sight I lost but I have a good chance of reclaiming the sliver of peripheral vision (the remaining 10%) I had before the blood blister behind my retina burst and filled the vitreal chamber with a mix of blood and vitreal humor. My eye patch is not the black "pirate" patch now but a version put on and taped down by my doctor. It will be removed from this original position tomorrow at my first post-op appointment. The pain is not horrible but all the anesthetic is not yet worn off either.
ReplyDeleteThank you God. And thank you, my friends, for your concern. I am doing well."
Current update: I am due at the docs. shortly. There is almost no pain. I passed a restless night mainly because of the taped on patch and how it interferes with things. There is no worse pain right now than I have after the in-office eye injection procedure I have been going through periodically to this time. I have drops to take and keep the eye more or less permanently dilated and as well to help reduce swelling and and anti-biotic. This is going to be a pain in the tokhes.
ReplyDeleteLatest... A small miracle? I have gotten vision back. There seems to be a crease in it, I presume where the retina was lasered down. I was warned that initially there would be blurring and all that. I seem to be short sighted as well. The distance sight blurs and fades away. I do not see detail that well, cannot read. The blackness of nearly total blindness is gone. I expect to have the stitch pulled later today.
ReplyDelete