I was really in love when I wrote these poems, back in 2000 or so. I tried the magic of wooing with poetry, and had the time, and so composed hundreds, of which some are actually poetry instead of sketches. This is sort of like photographers who take hundreds of pictures to get a few dozen really good ones. Those sketches worked equally well between us, in our private language. I didn't get the girl in the end but I certainly have most of the poetry and most of the emails they appeared in too. It is probably a very good thing I didn't get the girl. The task we had set ourselves was indeed a success, took two years, but I had to fall completely in love to do it. I knew it wouldn't work in the end. Even so knowing, it is not how I was permitted to act but instead had to behave as if there was a real chance, or else what we were doing would not have worked. And of course that meant I had to believe in the face of knowing it would not work. I lived in conscious denial, saying basically "Surely God, in Your mercy, in the Name of all that is right and good in this world, You will permit me this woman."
Instead I was given the gift of forgiveness.
Goddess Moon, shine for me here below.
Shining, oh Moon, let me love you in that light.
I promise you this, a single bright star,
A far star, found beyond the portal of grace
That stands in honor of all the holy loves.
I promise this star because I am the thief
Who stole it long ago that I could keep it
Safe for you. Oh Moon, look at you now. You fly above me.
Look down. See me. I feel you there beyond and above.
Ever farther, I go ever deeper, I burst open, blossom.
Hear me shout my higher joy, I burst wide open.
There is nothing to match your shining being,
Nothing ever in all my crowded crafty lives.
Shine again for me and I will steal
Another star for you and yet another
Til you are graced with heaven's diadems
And blaze above the entire world
The brightest in all of Heaven's glory.
What I Have To Say
Father Sun, Grandmother Sky,
Mother Earth, hear my call.
I am here within You.
This is what I have to say.
I will stand here at the stillness.
I will witness what I see.
I am open to Your Ways.
Give me the tools, give me leave
That I can bend and trim the Tree
Of Life and keep the Deep of Days.
Then I will turn with a gift of love
For the Goddess of the moon and stars
And I will truly touch Her heart.
This is all I have to say.
And this poem came to me in the spring of 2006, having a successful brood of house finches who nested in the old Christmas wreath I had forgotten to take down. That nesting pair prompted me to get a bird feeder, sunflower seeds and a water pan. Mom and Dad never trusted this, but their kids sure do. They have come back and brought friends, and that led to goldfinches and so many finches led to the occasional birds of some other species who will eat sunflower seeds in a pinch. I am really pleased except my car is punished from sitting under the wires nearby... I pay this price willingly.
I believe what I say here.
We Will All Fly
Today a bird sang and amazed, I understood.
My heart birthed so many small white flowers
That the perfume around me was intense, overwhelming.
Each flower seemed perfect but I looked much closer
To discover the small spots, discolored and hopeful-
Not perfect but instead a flowering hopeful perfume.
The bird sang and I understood the hope in her song.
Even this wondrous bird with just one feather broken sings.
That is how I knew the secret was revealed to me.
If ever there is a perfect moment, a time when one
Small thing is actually revealed without blemish to be
What it is in all purity beyond all need of hope
Then gravity will cease in the joy of it and the world
Will end, amen. We will all fly then on singing wings,
God's Permission granted to us at last,
Permission to soar in that holy sky.