Wednesday, December 2, 2009

This Ache In My Heart

I have been busier today not working than I would have been working. To the doctor’s three times today. Phone work, to the Auto Body shop because someone hit me on the road last night, a glancing head on with a towed car that swept wide because power steering wasn’t there. Very low speed accident. I always use sentence frags. Does anyone care? My mother did. She hated it when I deliberately did shoddy shit like this because she knew I know better, and I do. Filing the accident report. Getting the estimate, $3500… Their insurance saying, “no problem.”

The physiatrist said that my screwed up vertebra really should not cause pain and numbness, but my pain and numbness there anyway. I don’t care if that is so but what I do care about is finding out what is going on. I will return soon for an in depth test of the nerve pathways in my leg. Oh fine! Needles, effing Teflon coated needles. This will pinch a bit…I hate it when they say that.

This is not how it was, but on another world, how it could have been.

This Ache In My Heart

How you lie there still
after the wave has passed by,
after the heat fades,
and I wander off
to pray for the day's return,
kneeling in the grove
beside our campsite
out of your sight on purpose
because I fear love.

March 1, 2009 9:54 PM


  1. This one has left me a little numb.......I wonder if I do?


  2. Me too.....but I don't think so. I think I more likely fear the lack of it....sigh.

  3. Which is a bit silly because I am surrounded by it in one way, shape or form, at all times am I not :)

  4. Well, you are if I have anything to say about it.

  5. First off, glad the accident wasn't more serious.

    and then, a small sound left me with this one. I like it but I do wonder at that small sound I made.


  6. Erin, the small sound you made is nearly perfect, I think. However, the poem is modeled after a vacation I took with my lover into Canada for a couple weeks. I didn't fear love and that vacation was one of the highlights of my life.

  7. So real... this hit home for me. I'm sorry you aren't feeling good.

  8. Thanks for your good wishes, Rachel. I am not feeling so bad now as much as I have had no trustworthy revolution. I feel the weakness in my left leg really strongly tonight. There is something going on in there and now that the pain is going away, I can feel it more. So I am chasing some healing streams and demanding investigations as well. I am getting perplexed looks. Whatever is wrong is not supposed to be. Shit.

    As for the realness in the poem. Yes. There is no fantasy there. I have been there before. That is how I can write it, even though the actual model for the poem was not the situation.

  9. You know, what you describe just makes me think of blocked meridians, and acupuncture, or acupressure. Do you have access to that?

    Thanks for stopping by tonight. I love the poem you left behind.

  10. New to your blog, Christopher and already I find myself writing in your somewhat truncated style, the one your mother told you to avoid. What did she say about your poetry, though?

    To me it's wonderful. I'm glad to meet you.

  11. Yes, I think you're right, Rachel. I haven't gone there yet, except the homeopathic meditation deal I am doing (it's assisted) resides in that area, and the chiropractic is the new style with a heavy assist by computerized process, that is much more delicate adjusting and in its way clearly works with meridians. Acupuncture didn't work for me a few years ago though. I am glad you like the poem. I have weakness and limited range of motion in my left leg in a specific direction that is really troubling.

    I am glad you like the poem that I left. I left two more on other sites sort of like it. It is really a strange set of poems that I have no idea where they come from personally. I wonder sometimes if I channel off of some sort of psychic weather.

    Hello, Elisabeth, welcome to my blog. I think blogs actually cry for truncated sentences. Thank you for thinking so well of my poetry.

  12. I really like those sentence frags, they convey a mood. You don't use them all the time, anyway.

    I saw a car being towed coming the other way the other day, and had a horrible rogue image of it swinging out and hitting us. Glad it wasn't worse for you.

    Vivid small picture poem, sharp as ever.


The chicken crossed the road. That's poultry in motion.

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