Do you remember that special love? Can you be at peace within the memory?
The hole in my heart
She left me sometimes erupts
In spears of sad light.
Beauty’s grief rises, a gift-
A gentle burst of warm rain.
Within God’s Vision,
Within Love’s sweet pain I rise-
God calls. I walk on.
I think of Eros (Cupid). I cross that with the Zen master.
An arrow, fletched with soul
In true flight, like the bird flies
To her winter home.
Place it on my bow of love.
Pull the string to my left ear.
Hear my song within
The still archer's holding stance.
Let this dart fly free.
I have had more than one opportunity to love large. Oddly these were not the ones I married. I would have. There is something in me that propels me toward unattainable partners, even though I succeed for a time. Four times I chased the impossible ones, three as a young man, the fourth after a 20 year marriage ended. When I chose to marry there was something very practical about it. 23 years together and the last 20 married. I loved solid. I did not love large with wide open heart. I hope there will be another, but I don't chase.