Sunday, December 12, 2010
This Ache In My Heart - Reprise
"The pessimist complains about the wind; the optimist expects it to change; the realist adjusts the sails." - William Arthur Ward
Posted originally on December 2, 2009 and written when noted, one of my better poems in my opinion. As I wrote at that time, the poem is envisioned, taken from a specific moment after making love in a campground in the Canadian Rockies but then turned into imagination. I did not fear love that much at the time but I am never that far from it either. And we should perhaps, fear love a little because love is going to hurt, certainly hurt, though unpredictably when so much of the time. So many of us will go like Tina Turner:
What's love got to do with it,
What's love but a second hand emotion.
Something something something...hearts will be broken.
So many of us will at least for a little while say love hurts too much and I do not trust you, specifically and precisely YOU not to hurt me again so I will not love you. Or maybe anyone ever again...though even at my worst I have never gone there.
As I have written before, I have weathered this stuff pretty well by now. Now that I am so old and not a good partner for so many aging reasons, now I have got it right, pretty much. My last two loves ended well even though the endings hurt so much even doing things well. I think I do it rather like a grown up. That way I have the choice to remain friends with these fine women. One of them has gone on her way, though I knew where she was the last time I looked. The other may be my best friend right now.
This Ache In My Heart
How you lie there still
after the wave has passed by,
after the heat fades,
and I wander off
to pray for the day's return,
kneeling in the grove
beside our campsite
out of your sight on purpose
because I fear love.
March 1, 2009 9:54 PM