Monday, February 7, 2011

Searching For Sources



Sunrise at Demerju
Author: p1aton


Demerju may be located in Croatia. Nothing is certain.



"There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle." - Albert Einstein

I have spent the day in the emergency room instead of going to work. Shortness of breath took me there. We have discovered atrial fibrillation. I will shortly go on a Coumadin regime to dissolve any possible clot that has formed. I will need to be close to doctors for a while. This explains how difficult it has been in the last little while. Growing old is not for the faint of heart.

Wiki says: Atrial fibrillation (AF or A-fib) is the most common cardiac arrhythmia (abnormal heart rhythm) and involves the two upper chambers (atria) of the heart. Its name comes from the fibrillating (i.e., quivering) of the heart muscles of the atria, instead of a coordinated contraction.

As I have mentioned before, I feel a great urgency in this work I do here.

Searching For Sources

When I look into
Your waters, Oh God, I see
no sign of my face.

When I look into
the waters of my own soul
some odd signs appear.

I search Your sources and spells.
I find smoke in my hot white eyes.

October 22, 2009 12:45 AM
rewritten, ‎February 7, ‎2011 8:12 PM

13 comments:

  1. I'm sorry to hear that. I have SVT sometimes. I know how scary they seem.

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  2. I have no heart symptoms. It shows up in the ekg is how I know it is there. I have shortness of breath as a result of it is what I have, exhaustion, a feeling time is short.

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  3. They told me I don't have heart symptoms more directly because my heart rate is controlled. I take three beta blockers for my blood pressure. They were prescribed to me after my last heart event in 2009. So while my heart rhythm is irregular my heart rate is in the sixties instead of where it usually is in a-fib, over one hundred.

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  4. Can I have permission to publish your writings if you croak? I know that sounds so cold and heartless but it woud be an honor and like a teaching for all.......for ever.
    Wow what a cool project you could start now for me.
    I hope I have not offended you my friend, one of my favorite hearts.
    I cannot help it I am just a little ole pisces hiding behind an aries leo fire storm, quite steamy I are.

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  5. Take care of yourself, y'hear?

    Random note: there's a lot of things that may be located in Croatia. Sometimes I think the whole universe is hiding there, anything you could want is in at least two valleys in Croatia.

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  6. It is definitely a thought. I agree. Everything not here is in Croatia.

    Many things that are here are also in Croatia.

    I might be in my stranger moments also in Croatia.

    I said nothing is certain, however quite honestly. I Googled the word got actual hits of Demerje and its declension Demerju as a place name in Croatia. I couldn't make it certain because this picture is rural or otherwise remote and the name referred to a district that looked well populated.

    I must confess that after I wrote nothing is certain I was very glad I had. It felt very much like something clever to say.

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  7. Do take care. Liked the poem today…

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  8. When I look into
    Your waters, Oh God, I see
    no sign of my face.


    But when you look into your own face, do you see signs of god? this is what i wonder. and then i think, perhaps not, but when others look into your face, do they see those signs? perhaps so.

    I would like to be more at ease with this body. I would like to be more zen with it, accept its deteriorating parts, but when I feel pains, worry comes, even if slightly regulated by my conscious mind.

    I wish your body well, your mind and soul, two shakes better than that (at least).

    xo
    erin

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  9. not for the faint of heart, indeed. hopefully this is a way or being in your life that is enlivening...
    your breath is telling you about your heart...i am glad you are listening.

    it is doubtless an unsettling time. at the core of you, however, is an immense large-heartedness. i am grateful for the ways you breathe thought and feeling into expression.

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  10. I pray that strength and healing will come your way.

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  11. You are very kind. Thank you, Noelle.

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The chicken crossed the road. That's poultry in motion.


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