Friday, February 11, 2011

Life Is Not For Sissies.

Thank you, my friends. I have hit a real change point. The other shoe dropped from nearly two years ago. I have been complaining of some tiredness, exhaustion, and really low metabolism for quite some time. It has confused me. Now I know it is heart related.

I had to return to hospital and get more observation and help.

The condition is atrial fibrillation, where the atria of the heart no longer pump in synch with the ventrical all the time. It means the flow of blood around my body is too weak to maintain high end and even sometimes normal activity. Apparently it is not in itself at a serious level to be of life threatening concern, but the stroke that can come of it is. There are some other anomalies that may signal some other stuff to come.

I am being ramped up at this moment into the coumadin regime that is prescribed to people who are at risk for this kind of stroke. This not only entails being introduced to coumadin but also, I must inject myself now with another blood thinner called Lovenox to bridge me into the new lifestyle. My mother was on this regime but had a stroke anyway. Her heart trouble was controlled. This is no joke. I live alone so I must wear my big boy pants and do the right thing without encouragement and some other watchful eye.

I am getting boxed in. I really need to stop working but if I do then I lose the supplemental insurance and watch my life fall apart because I have no retirement. So with all this extra stuff and less energy I have to continue working if I possibly can. At least my skill is high and so is my boss' loyalty at this moment. Who knows how he will be in the future, or how I will be either.

This is a common end of life dilemma in this day and age. My spirit is not that bad, considering, but my comfort level is at a lower ebb. I would prefer now to not have any life struggles to go with the medical struggles. They are going to be quite large enough.

I will probably post as usual tomorrow. Another thing that has happened, my main computer has failed with a start up corruption of some kind (says corrupt file(s)). I tried a system restore. I don't want to reload from the beginning and lose files. Too many poems to lose, though should be less than six that aren't in hard copy. My last remote drive back up was mid January. Oh well.

I love you one friend of mine says, "I love your guts." Keep courage, stay peaceful, find wisdom, do the right thing. Love your people.


  1. Sorry to hear this. There are some very good treatments for atrial fib. I'm sure you've done research already. Cardioversion, ablation, and pacemakers with defibrillators.

    The problem with atrial fib is that because your heart is beating so fast, it is not able to effectively empty the ventricles and the blood tends to pool. Blood that sits around, even inside your body will clot, which is what puts you at risk for a stroke. The coumadin and Lovenox will help prevent the clotting, although they too carry their own risk.

    Hope the doctors are able to get the atrial fib under control and get you feeling better.

    Take care.

  2. Lilith, my first appt with cardiology is next week. I assume we will be discussing these very options. Meanwhile I am bridging using Lovenox into a Warfarin lifestyle. First test showed that low dose Warfarin will not build up my levels and so I have been directed to increase the dose by 2.5 times, hoping to get me off the injections in a week. At two a day, I already look like a pincushion. At least I know how to do this. At least I don't mind too much. At least I have enough patience that I don't make it burn.

  3. hang in there Christian, usual it is not anything to get excited about unless it condition takes over 45 seconds to say, and that is with decent time signature at or above Vivaldi's Spring Season. Even then if is only approaching moderate complexity until the conditions sounds more like Intact Cow, and less poetic than even the likes of me.

    eat some extra rare liver, heavily peppered, mix it with koolaid with ice chips, not cubes, and everything should be ok.

    Just don't be loitering in front a trooper cars nor city police, those cruisers have been known to collide round your parts.

  4. Oh by the way, I have a cardiology appt on Wednesday. I may not have all the pertinent info as yet because they are waiting to either my primary care person or the cardio to actually make the recommendations and deliver the main news.

  5. Keep courage, stay peaceful, find wisdom, do the right thing. Love your people. :D

    Yes, love, as I love you.


  6. keep on keeping on! I know it doesn't really make sense but I feel especially pissed off for you that you've got 'puter trouble as well, seems like insult to injury somehow.

    Sending enormous great hugs to an enormous great soul.

  7. Erin, I am grateful we have crossed paths. My best to Robert too.

    Ghost, if you come back, you will see that I have put your kitteh up on this post. Thank you.

    Noelle, I am doing all right but I am tired of little bits of my own blood as I inject drugs and check blood sugar.

    Lucy, I know!! That's exactly what I thought. I am also in negotiations for a house refinance. That has been nothing for months and right now it is jumping. What? The name of this post is...??

  8. Sorry to hear about your A-fib. This is what my mother had. She lived to be 96 and 3/4ths.

  9. Went to the cardio today. A-Fib is part of it. He called my issue diastolic heart failure, not just dysfunction, because my presenting symptom was breathing trouble.


The chicken crossed the road. That's poultry in motion.

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