"No matter how deep a study you make. What you really have to rely on is your own intuition and when it comes down to it, you really don't know what's going to happen until you do it." - Konosuke Matsushita
Wiki says: Konosuke Matsushita (松下 幸之助 Matsushita Kōnosuke, November 27, 1894 – April 27, 1989) was a Japanese industrialist, the founder of Panasonic, a company based in the suburb of Kadoma (on the Keihan line), Osaka in Japan. For many Japanese, he is known as "the god of management".
Originally posted on May 5, 2009, this was the last post just before my first what I call "heart event". I think it is interesting that the title should be what it is. This is, I think, an excellent example of what is for me a useless tie that I have with my own future. I cannot predict it even to save my life. And yet I sort of do in this vague and unconscious way. After the fact I can look at such things and see how they tie together. Hind sight is not very useful.
I am posting it now to tie together my two heart events. This atrial fibrillation that came up yesterday (see my last post) has been going on for quite a while now I can see in hind sight. The worst thing about it in my daily affairs, I am exhausted all the time. I am not at huge risk for some larger heart event. What I am told is my high risk now is stroke. They are putting me on Coumadin shortly to keep my blood thin. This is controlled hemophilia. I was on Plavix for a year to guard against a clot forming at the stent they put in.
I am returning to work tomorrow.
My Human Condition
Total soul eclipse
As I stuff myself with toys
And the sugary
Dollops, diversions
Of my own greedy senses,
Yet the dry desert
Of avoiding things
Builds toward an explosion
I just cannot stop.
Why then is it so
The middle way is slicker,
More slippery than
My poor toes can grip
And I slide to either side
Again and again?
December 31, 2008 1:54 PM
This makes me think of all those stories, and we've all heard them, of the person who took health seriously, worked out daily, ate organic and religiously well balanced, and yet is stricken with cancer at 35. It makes me realize that it is my human condition, regardless of what form of denial I engage in, that will bring me to my death. How, how, HOW do we settle into acceptance? In the movie Why has Bodhi-Dharma Left for the East, the old monk says he is ready as his old body has served him well but is now near done. He works his garden matter of factly, as he works his human condition. I want that kind of acceptance.
ReplyDeletelove to you and healing of all sorts
xo
erin
Take heart, you dear and mighty heart...
ReplyDeletethe poem is an amazing testimony to the undeniability of our fragile embodied selves. i suppose that is why we have to treat ourselves and each other with wonder and deep regard.
ReplyDeletewishing you forms of dwelling that speak to your heart
only time
ReplyDelete