Sometimes I feel really nourished and cared for. Today, something really kind happened to me. I am astounded and grateful for the gift. In fact, several remarkable things have happened in the last several days. My life may have changed nearly beyond recognition. I have new responsibilities. There is a quest coming. We shall see.
I am not yet fit to return to work but I expect that my efforts will have me released for work by next week. However, then I will enter the queue, eligible for a return as soon as a suitable project appears and the current work force adjusts. There is a pressure on my boss to fund the medical insurance he continues to carry for me though I am idle. This pressure is on me as well to return as quickly as I can. However, my boss cannot just dump someone currently active to make room for me without risking that man’s return at some future time. It just isn’t done, nor would I want it to happen. These people are all my friends too. So an ending has to be reached in normal order.
As for this poem, if I did not practice diligently, this is who I would be. It is certainly who someone on the planet is.
An Old Door
This old door, not locked,
will fall off if you try to
open it. That's old.
I am not that old
though if you try to open
me, I'll fall off too.
That's why I keep closed,
because I'll fall off the edge
of things otherwise.
That's just how I think
even though you say I know
better than that now.
March 1, 2009 11:54 PM
Contraction
1 week ago
I'd really like to fall off sometimes....just sayin'.
ReplyDelete:D
xxx
I love the beginning of your post and thinking of you as nourished and cared for. You have nourished and cared for so many. Your turn. I am sure.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Michelle -- sometimes I just want to fall off too.
Love to you, Christopher.
xx
Liz
:D God, sometimes I love this blog.
ReplyDelete{{{Michelle}}} It does seem like it ought to be the next step. You know you can't really leave them all behind so abruptly unless it is genuine accident...
Also, have you actually looked over the edge lately?? You sure better have confidence that you can float or fly and that there are no predators in the "wine dark sea" you and God can't handle.
{{{Liz}}} I am not sure how deliberate this stuff is. I think most that happens is not about me so directly. The two best things of which I wrote are I believe serendipities, happy accidents, though I have earned my place in their stream by my past actions. I will keep them by due diligence, if I can.
The nature of my relationship with my boss is a weaving years in the making. He is a man of remarkable loyalty if he thinks you are genuine with him, and some, including me, think it a fault based on how it works out for him sometimes. And yet I am loyal too. He works very hard. I too work hard but not so hard. We have a world in common, and a history extraordinarily long in this corporate world, though checkered by circumstance.
I have learned to take most of what he does impersonally, sure that he means it personally only in really inconsequential ways. For his part, he takes my faults the same way. We both know the work speaks for itself and has spoken well enough between us.
I acknowledge that this has happened before in my career, that my bosses then also, for their own reasons, gifted me beyond the normal expectations. Of course they also soon after took it away.
The best piece of this is how my age is a real factor, causing to a large extent what is happening, but has not led to the losses that might have happened, at least not as yet. Thus what happened to my Dad at a younger age, a forced retirement, has not yet happened to me. But then he had enough money by other means. He was not happy as a "kept" man. I might be happier :)