The grass is always greener. What if I was a bug?
I don't know, perhaps I was feeling more vulnerable than usual.
Exoskeletal
If I could expose
my bones, wear them outside me,
then I could be soft
through and through, secure
in this bumpy ride we have.
I could paint myself
in psychedelic
colors, graffiti to show
my true views, my love.
February 21, 2009 9:11 AM
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If you loved her your picker wasn't broken.
ReplyDeleteBut yeah, I have a broken picker too, and I loved them too.
Oh god, the things we do!
Exoskeletal...inside out, oh yeah :)
xxxxx
Yes, Michelle. We make these choices that shape our entire lives and later we say, "What was I thinking?"
ReplyDeleteSometimes I am sure that my actual aim in my life is decidedly not conscious. My outcomes are so far away from the goals I had in mind.
Lately I have become sensitive to how little I can actually control anything. My life path is more a sailing vessel than a motor boat. It matters how the wind blows.
Exposing anything from inside is not something I want to do, but sometimes that is the better way in this life and/or survival thing. I think that in my case I did paint myself in psychedelic colors so that was people saw and I didn't have to let them see the deeper stuff.
ReplyDeleteTB, there is a class of soul sicknesses that requires turning inside out like this, maybe all soul sickness ultimately requires it. Reaching the point where you risk it is often an excruciating passage, years long deep mainly self inflicted suffering. That seems to be the prerequisite larval and pupate stages. At that point of emergence, it is more a matter of survival than it is any intrinsic goodness or moral path that people become both frank and honest in public. At that point it is essential to survival that the one who suffers finds a safe place to reveal his or her depth like this.
ReplyDeleteAfter a time the need for secrecy fades a little and the task of deep honesty becomes both safer and easier. I am fairly sure that the goal of soul health requires this passage in some ultimate and eventual sense.