Friday, October 30, 2009

A Way Through

I am not a fan of A Course In Miracles. I have read both Gary Renard and Marianne Williamson. I very much like what Marianne has to say on many topics. It is clear that forgiving is the key to miracles. With that I agree. It is a radical calling. Love is transformed when forgiveness is free flowing. If you have a problem with loving, it is almost certainly an issue with forgiveness failing or lacking that is the problem. Sometimes it is as simple as waking up. Sometimes it is the whole life walk that is required.

It occurs to me as I write, afflicted with a life threatening pain, that it is probably a forgiveness issue too. I am overweight. This has contributed to my condition. Obesity too is a forgiveness issue. I know this because when I look at solutions bitterness rises. Forgiveness is the antidote to bitterness.

The worst blockage to forgiveness I ever encounter is my certainty. There is no forgiveness in this attitude, cannot be. I am certain I am right. You ask if I am prepared to die defending this hill. How much of me instantly says yes to that? I don't even have to start my defense. I have already lost.

A Way Through

I need an open
door at this point, a way through
the wall I have built
holding intentions
corraled, herded together
behind resentment,
wariness, distance,
uncertainty, deep dismay.
I need a passage,
a safe place to walk.
When I ask it you say I'll
get that when I learn
to forgive.

February 21, 2009 4:01 PM
Modified October 30, 2009 7:38 PM


  1. Yeah....

    Sometimes I think I have got it and then it gets me again.



  2. Michelle, the capacity to forgive, over and over again is one key to the human need for atonement which is impossible without forgiveness. There is no question that the ancients in their ways also knew this. Jesus asked it of us "seventy times seven" if a person should strike us. Both Hindus and Buddhists called us to rise out of the need to retaliate before Jesus was born.

    Retaliation for wrongs is properly born of social duty, not of inner personal need. The capacity for victory is destroyed to the extent that the war becomes personal. Said another way, the soldier who takes the conflict personally will be beaten by the soldier who takes his duty personally all other qualities being equal.

    In the ancient Hindu texts, to be an impeccable warrior in battle requires an attitude of compassion and forgiveness. It was assumed that conflict and war was inevitable. If I am born into the warrior caste then it will be my principle duty to go to war. For Hindus then, forgiveness abides in the midst of the storm, not above or beyond the storm.

    St. Paul wrote of the thorn in his side. Forgiveness is the likely candidate. Just my opinion.

  3. Christopher,

    I think I needed to read this post today. Maybe everyday.

    I am so sorry that your pain is so great right now...

    sending healing thoughts your way -- always....

  4. {{{Christopher}}} You are much to hard on yourself. But you yourself has told me before, to take things lightly. Know i ask you, where do you want to be right?

    I did the Course of Miracles some 18 years ago. I never look at it again, but it is still dear to me. The thing i learned from it, is that i can meditate now in any circumstance. When i did the exercises in the book, often, my baby was screaming upstairs in his crib.

    Now there's a forgiveness issue, to let my child suffer like that:)

    Please, forget about forgiveness for a bit, and wallow in our (bloggers) love for you!!
    Maybe post Rachel's poem on your wall, and know that we all hold you dear, as she said so beautifully.
    Hugs and kisses, Jozien

    lets find the door
    that's always open
    walk the passage
    that's always safe
    and in the midst of crying
    a smile forms on our face

  5. Liz, thank you for your kindness and concern.

  6. {{{Jozien}}}

    You are ever hopeful. Thank you.

  7. Maybe it is as you say that forgiveness is the antidote to bitterness. When I look for solutions, I am able to breathe again, there is the beginning of peace and calm. Just doing the work of seeking and searching is positive for me. The bitterness you speak of is very deeply rooted.

  8. i was in a stupid cyberspatial vortex and missed something.... you sick? what's wrong.... i don't like when you're sick. it makes me angry and bitter..... more so than usual. stop disrupting the flux immediately!

  9. If you can't find a door, punch through the wall or climb in through the window. There is always room for forgiveness in some form, and anyone who says otherwise is missing something. Forgiving yourself can be the toughest of all, but the most rewarding...

  10. Thanks for the scolding, Ghost

    Joseph, I am stuck in that self forgiveness realm. In the area of my need I have no idea what self forgiveness could look like even though my transgression is obvious. It's a conundrum from back in 1981 and it has had repercussions all the way through the nineties. It is part of a triangular complex, all three points needing reconciliation and this forgiveness of self is the last point. It took sixteen years to get the first point of reconciliation done and a five more years to get the second done. Now I have been waiting seven years to see the path to this self forgiveness. I pray about it. That's as far as I can get. This forgiveness stuff is neither easy nor always quick.

  11. I think the hardest walls to cross are usually the ones we've built around ourselves. Maybe that's what you meant by this; maybe not. At any rate, that's what it said to me, and I like it.

  12. Rachel, I am sure I am my own worst difficulty under usual circumstances.


The chicken crossed the road. That's poultry in motion.

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