Monday, October 12, 2015

A Bad Day - A Magpie Tale

George's Self Portrait

I remember the day still. Long time ago now... Things started to go bad, one after the other, I started counting after four and kept track. It stopped being awful and started being amazing around ten. I got to thirteen before day's end. I was married. My wife, Ann, had five or six more screw ups quite apart from mine. By evening we were chuckling at how bad a day could be. I never had a day like it before. I have never had a day like it since. We were grateful to find the humor.

I have only one idea why a bad day and George's buzz cut should match up. I was given home haircut buzz cuts as a second and third grade kid. I understood we were poor but I hated those haircuts. I am currently almost seventy. I quit getting haircuts some time back now. My hair has grown below my shoulders.

A Bad Day

The shell doesn't work.
I hear only my own ears.
Though my eyes flash blue,
I can see little
without corrective lenses.
My left leg is lame.
The toes of my right
foot are fungus infested.
The cat strayed away
three days past. The dog
has runny crap after all
the garbage he ate.

I asked for a trim.
The barber screwed the damn pooch.
Now it's a buzz cut.

What is going on?

October 12, 2015 5:46 PM

Christopher's Self Portrait

Post composed for Tess' The Mag, No. 289
Sorry to be a day behind, you guys.
Oh yes, "George" refers to George Tooker.

I have known the phrase "screw the pooch" for many years now. I did a cursory search of the internet and found that this phrase may have its origins in the Mercury Space Program. The phrase of course means what it feels like it means - to make a large error. No one apparently knows for certain where the phrase comes from. It fits the masculine high tech but blue collar workplace without question. I am sure I have used the phrase at some time in my life but I have no idea where or when.


  1. Glad you explained "screw the pooch" - I was worried about the barber...
    Anna :o]

  2. oh dear, now i am laughing out loud (lol) yes yes i think , we should sing this to children again, some dark truths in humorous ways


The chicken crossed the road. That's poultry in motion.

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