Sunday, December 25, 2011

Playing On The Sly

"Gentlemen, we are going to relentlessly chase perfection, knowing full well we will not catch it, because nothing is perfect. But we are going to relentlessly chase it, because in the process we will catch excellence. I am not remotely interested in just being good." - Vince Lombardi (during his first talk with the Green Bay Packers as their coach)

"Throw your heart over the fence and the rest will follow." - Norman Vincent Peale

"Let me not pray to be sheltered from dangers, but to be fearless in facing them. Let me not beg for the stilling of my pain, but for the heart to conquer it." - Rabindranath Tagore

I don't know if this happens to many people but my hair has changed over the decades. My hair is thinning now but at sixty-six nowhere near bald, nor am I gray haired. My hair is the sort of nondescript brown that you almost call no color at all but turns out brown for the sake of driver's license descriptions. It is almost perfectly straight though I notice it is easily trained into things when damp. I suppose that is fairly normal.

When I was a small boy my hair was straight and I was blonde. Slowly my hair turned brown. As it did, I started to get a curl too. By the time I was in high school I was curly brown haired with the kind of waviness that often gets complimented. Me, I hated it. I wanted more control than the curls allowed, even though I knew I was "fortunate" from common points of view. That situation lasted to my forties, when my hair started to straighten out. I used to ask the barber to thin my hair. I no longer do that. I think this hair thing may have had to do with adult male sex hormones. I wouldn't mind if my hair turned back to blonde. I know even if I gray significantly I will not darken my hair as some do. One disappointing thing, I have had to shave my ears for years now. Shit.

Knowing what I know now, would I want to go back to an earlier time, say nineteen, or fifteen and do it all again knowing what I know now? I am sure this is not an easy question. I have thought about it many times. How about going all the way back to near the beginning? After considerable thought, my answer is clear.

Playing On The Sly

Sometimes I've wished for
a return to my small blonde size
and the caves, burrows,
the crevices I found
but not often. I have found
such good games to play
with you and sometimes
with the one who left me here.
We play on the sly.

February 7, 2010 9:16 AM


  1. Chris,
    "Let my return to myself,be my return to him(god)"...-Rabindranath tagore

  2. oh, i like what manik has added here.

    and i was surprised by the depth of Vince Lombardi, although i shouldn't have been.

    and Rabindranath Tagore's quote that you include is a personal mantra for me, one born naturally of me, not learned from a book. i am happy with this.

    your poem and your discoveries make me smile. and then here you are with a new profile picture. can it be that you are a man now in 2011? it is almost hard to believe, isn't it, that you have a body and live in a space like other regular people.

    you can not believe the places a woman needs to shave at 41. now, there is the real story! we need a spokesperson, we hairy women:)

    let us not return to the beginning this way, by winding back. let's return to the beginning by going forward:)



  3. Erin, again you delight me! Thank you, young lady!

  4. I like your picture...your keyboard, speakers as big as the moon and sun. Hair???? OMG. I pluck, I shave, I cut. If I could go back, I would ask society to let hair be. Let hair EVERYWHERE on the body be sought after. Ahhhh, how much more time we'd have to play on the sly each morning.

  5. In the new picture, the keyboard is a Yamaha Motif ES-6 and the speakers are for it, but they both don't work that well...the connections failed almost immediately. A simple fix really but I am far too lazy. If I let the connection be loose on the left, it works fine if left alone. The speakers and stands are made for stage. On the music stand are two books of really advanced music I bought one time on a whim. About half the time I just use headphones.

    Above the keyboard on the right is a collage presenting my calendar kitten...the photo I took, and the calendar locations she appeared, both on the cover and as January 31. I had it done by a friend in order to preserve the material.

    I have always been forgiving about female hair. You guys don't do all you do on my account. I think it's mostly a waste. I very much dislike stubble more than the full expression. I am European about it all I think.


The chicken crossed the road. That's poultry in motion.

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