Sunday, April 4, 2010

It Is Finished

Yesterday I had to go in and have a back molar pulled. It was capped. This was a tooth that required root canals decades ago. A couple days ago it cracked longitudinally along one root. That led to an abscess. I have Kaiser as my medical and dental, so I had just a few minutes to asses whether or not I trusted this guy over some other stranger I would deal with later. The good news is that I could have it done on Saturday as an emergency procedure. It turned out okay but I am in more pain today than I was with the abscess. It is interesting how much psychology is in this though. Even though the pain is worse, I can take it better because I know what is happening. When it was the abscess, I didn’t know. The Percoset isn’t worth much as a pain killer. I will need tomorrow off from work.

It is odd that a poem like the following shows up next in line during this Easter weekend.

It Is Finished

As I stand upright
on the wall in the middle
of my holy name
I see farther than
all the works of man display.
I breathe cool free air
and ready myself
for the long final journey
to the central fire.

April 30, 2009 9:12 AM


  1. Not odd at all, Christopher. It's entirely fitting that this poem on this day.

    I hope you feel better soon, and I wish you a blessed Easter.

  2. Ug. I have to have a crown put on this Thursday. Today I will pick up my perscription for Valium, so as to endure the torture. Without it I shake so bad in the chair, they are unable to work. HATE the dentist. I hear your pain. Sending Vicodin.

  3. Ouch, Christopher. I hope the pain is better.

    As far as the poem goes and oddness-- seems fitting somehow(as Karen pointed out). This is what happens with you. I mean... somehow you have this strange way with time and connections... poems often fall into place... don't they?

    My love to you,

    Liz (The Laundress ;) )

  4. Not much better yet. The swelling has gone down but the pain persists. Damn.

    Liz, you are right about how stuff happens with me. I don't orchestrate it or plan it, but it does just happen and it happens on the edge of what people might call often. I have actually run my life in big ways on the basis of this kind of thing because it happens often enough to feel deep and trustworthy. I have not aimed at some sort of remarkable life which is good news since I don't have a remarkable life. Instead I have assumed that fate or God or whatever has me where I am "supposed" to be because I have followed the cues.

    I wish I could say I was really good at following the cues. I am not. I have a feeling I have flinched a few times and held back. I pray I have not held back too much. That would mean I am not where I am supposed to be. I pray that none of my gaffes have been to big to surmount and that my right choices have allowed me the privilege of a good life.

    I have not ever had feedback that my life has turned out right. I don't think very many people get that kind of feedback. I think we are supposed to take that on faith or not.

  5. squat on the curb
    i gesture at the son
    with toothless fire
    i curse the day of my birth
    gripping the empty bottle
    with both hands
    squeezing its throat
    like a mad dog

    easter service

  6. obviously, an alternate title could be "it is finished".

  7. Ghost, I think I shall reply to you like this:


    The toothless goddess
    smiles vacantly at my hope.
    I am old and smell
    bad, smell like cold flesh
    from an empty gray coffin.
    How I feel sometimes,
    how it is this day
    of days. It is said of Him,
    said He rises up
    but I see no sign.
    I see through all the whitewash.
    God, I miss you so.


The chicken crossed the road. That's poultry in motion.

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