One may fall in love but one decides to love someone. Really there is no honeymoon on the decision to love. One falls. We often will call that an infatuation. We will say it is a dream come true. That’s precisely what it is. I fall in love with you, a dream come true. I fell for my dream of course, not really for you. Within that space, I may decide to love you. Then I set about to find out who you are, who I have chosen to love. If I am unfortunate I will confuse the dream with the reality. If I am blessed, I will get to keep the fantasy and still navigate in reality. That’s where the swimming comes in. It takes great skill, no?
I just heard tonight that one of my favorite couples is divorcing. Too bad.
Staying Afloat
If I were stone still
in the moving tide of you
I would be submerged
and would have to grow
gills, so often do you rise.
But I can swim, dear,
and I do, the crawl
and the butterfly, back stroke
and side stroke and I
can tread water as
well if I must. All of these
I need loving you.
April 3, 2009 12:38 PM
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oooh....
ReplyDeletexxx
Oh, all of those. All of them! Treading water and then swimming through the clean blue sea!
ReplyDeleteLove you both, need all of these even here ;)
ReplyDeleteRight on the friggin money Christopher. I do feel for you men. Us women are a changing lot. I think we expand and shrink far more often then the males. And the dream vs the reality and falling for the dream first.....it is exactly what I do not wish. If I could do it all over again I would not contain who I really was to capture the dream of another. I would force my reality to the surface so there would be no confusion and within the space....you would not decide to love me...you would have already arrived, if you had not already gone.
ReplyDeleteThat's really interesting. I hadn't necessarily put gender or anything on the idea of loving in my own heart. I feel it could be read both ways. My last lover would talk about steering or navigating quite often and link that concept with self actualizing and maturity. I have been with and was raised by a strong woman who knew what she was and wanted. I guess my experience is colored that way.
ReplyDeleteIt has seemed to me that we all need to learn all the strokes. I could complain about all that work but it would be fruitless.
Ah, it is an agreement, isn't it? The beauty of it for me, right now, at this point in my life, is that I mostly know who I am. Here I am. It is me that I offer instead of the construct of me. I am faulty but I am me. And he, much the same. We accept each other. There lies the agreement. Now for the celebration.
ReplyDeleteYou've a very careful mind. You would need an athlete,I think, Christopher, to keep up with you.
xo
erin