Thursday, February 25, 2010

Taking Direction

I keep discovering my humanness. It is awkward and often painful when I do this. I have trouble living on the planet. The world certainly deserves a drink, I just don’t take it and haven’t for a long time now. Oh yes, certainly there is great beauty and loving kindness and art and all that. When I wake in that grimy place I know so well, then what I know beyond question is that even with all the beauty, loving kindness and the rest, it simply isn’t worth it. I am grateful that I am not often immersed in that place. Most of the time I live in another place, the one where you just get up and do it again, looking for those bright little moments that make things worthwhile for a little time. I had one of those today, a fresh little moment of excellence that nearly hit perfection. That’s like the times when my music hits the groove. I will walk away from those moments pretty sure that they almost balance things. They would balance things, I muse, if I could reach those moments more easily, more often. But I know better. I know that you get used to things in the new way and soon, where ever you go, there you are.

That’s why the age of miracles is over, I mean the big ones, the manna in the desert, pillars of fire and like that. We get used to anything and then it’s just ordinary. So if God wants a miracle, He has to slip it in any more. It has been well established for a long time that we are unimpressed. We need the circus and we need it constantly. Miracles are far too ordinary. Only fantasy works. Heh.

Taking Direction

So you said to me
I am to live in the now,
not planning so much,
but then you said, wait,
I forgot you have no clue
what's right or what's wrong,
so for you, you said,
planning might still be required.
Guidance might be wise.

Now I'm pissed at you.

April 8, 2009 12:22 PM


  1. :)
    I am kind of in the same mood as you describe in your intro. It feels so soft, i like soft. Before i was reading i felt melancholic, but you turned me soft.
    and i giggled about your poem

  2. "Miracles are far too ordinary!" Fark!!!!

    But but but
    I of course want to argue.
    I feel it in my belly.
    They're impressive. They're everywhere. It's up to us to see them.

    (Fark the circus!)

    your poem - HA!


  3. If you haven't seen this
    it is a lot of fun
    and i think is
    a jumping off point
    for much thought
    and deliberation

    oh, just watch


  4. Jozien, I am always happy to change your mood to one better. It is something precious to me that you like my ways.

    Erin, of course you want to argue. You are not built like me. You are built in complement. From your harmonic point of view you have the argument duty when the likes of me offers a point of view. These places are of course not right or wrong, nor are they correctly imposed on each other. We are all guaranteed to go through all of this eventually, if not in this life then the next or the one before.

    Oh have to believe in many lives to believe that...

    Thanks for the video.

  5. "If home's where the heart is
    then I'm out of place...
    I've never been more homesick
    than now."

    Would fly this planet...if I had a plane.

  6. You need more than a plane, I am afraid. Or less perhaps, if you have access. Fairy dust is helpful, or ruby slippers, I am told. In fact some what we do here is weaving a line or two of traction for taking steps along the path.

    Escape is not possible as we are, only in what we genuinely change into. This change cannot happen without exquisite attention to the present moment, who we really are, and who are companions are. This change cannot happen as well without deep compassion entwined with this attention. In achieving these, we may come to want something other than escape, but we cannot arrive in that place without wanting to escape this one.

  7. Chris, I just want out. "Leaving on a jet plane. Don't know when I'll be back again. Oh babe, I hate to go..."

    Can I just say I really like it here. You don't have to post this. My mood is extremely my mood is want to take this path of least resistance! The dark path being that least resistant one for me. Isn't that sick? Anyway....Escape not possible. Well put.

  8. Annie, it really is not possible if you play the rest of the tape. At least that's how I understand it. Escaping is really not the point of this place. The point is getting clear and in the clarity finding the freedom and then leaving in full volition, not in reaction to how terrible it is. And there is more because there is always return until we all go, and so you don't leave, not if your clarity also contains compassion. Then at the doorstep of freedom you turn and help all you can also take the walk to freedom, again not as an escape but in clarity.

    Clarity does not change the facts of planet earth where life eats life of necessity. Clarity changes the enslavement. The first noble truth, all life is suffering. There is a way out. It is already known, it is just that it is not very well liked.

    My friend Sandy, who rents my back house and calls herself my garden gnome, she says about all this that life has a tough shit category. You don't have to like it. Tough shit. Do it. We call this a practice. Yes it is not the easy way in the present moment. However it is unequivocally the easy way in the long run. It may show itself to be the easy way at any moment if and when you make real progress. It is my experience that there is feedback along the way. Life gets filled with more love and that's the truth. That's the fruit of the practice.

    For me, blogging is a part of that. Is that not true?


The chicken crossed the road. That's poultry in motion.

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