Saturday, July 18, 2009

Dark Thoughts, Connections

Heh. Here's a study. Both of these poems were written the same day. Neither are current, not when they were written, not today. Both are true places, places I've been.

Just for contrast, tonight I have been sitting in the grand old house that my former neighbor across the street years ago, he and his wife bought in the historic part of Oregon City. It's a historic house. I am in contact with him on his blog and we said we would get together one of these times, and now I finally got to it. So we have been spending time catching up. We were good friends as neighbors. When I moved, he bought my house. We found ourselves good friends again tonight. You can find both of his blogs here, Quantum Spirit.

Dark Thoughts

Why is it you make
Me feel like a fifth grader
Sneaking my play space
Under the desk lid
Behind the girl, sits in front
Of me, and she's good
For you when I'm not.

I'm a grown up man, by God,
And you belittle me.

I will get revenge
For this feeling you give me.
I will make you pay.

January 28, 2009 2:11 PM


I became convinced that Maire and I were Mage and Queen in a former life. That's what this is about. That relationship is the one where I became the Man of the Northern Wall.


Every time, girl.
Passion guides your touch,
Heart, your movements.
It's why I arrive
With my soul in flight, soaring,
Confident I will
Be received, welcomed,
Sure that with this connection
I recall another
In some other life.

January 28, 2009 9:22 PM

The relationship did end, of course, and the pain of that ending holds a special place all its own in my heart.


  1. {{{Man of the Northern Wall}}}
    It's all good:); feeling like a fifth grader, soaring, now or in another life, spending time with good friends.

  2. I have no idea why I deserve such good friends but indeed I have them. Thank you.

  3. The story behind these poems is bitter-sweet. I have to tell you that it warms my heart to hear you speak so openly. Bless you. I really like Quantum Spirit, thanks for the recommendation.

  4. Yes, Annie, my friend Greg has always had an interesting take on things. I also like his archeology blog easily found right there. He has one of the better lives on the planet, works freelance writer out of his home (his wife Christine does her paying crafts the same) and they live in this amazing old house on the bluff as we call it, Singer Hill perhaps, the historic district in Oregon City. They live literally on the exposed basalt and their basement is carved out of the stone. The garden is multilevel multiple small plots where it can be.

  5. I hate it when it goes sour, and I hope you have held on to that special feeling anyway. I wonder sometimes if it isn't all a great big lie, or some trick we play on ourselves, this knowing one another from before, yet still not being able to make it work.

    I remember this first

  6. Rachel, I lost nothing. I have no scar. I was not turned cynical. I even have the capacity of friendly relations with her. If she were to come back and offer herself again, I would have to ponder deeply whether to respond. We met one time some years later, and came close but it was not right. I have not talked to her in years.

    Now that you bring it up I remember writing Dark Thoughts on your site. You are going to begin seeing those poems I wrote there I guess.

  7. Ghost, thanks for offering Sarah. I accept. :)

  8. Dark Thoughts, took me back to fifth grade. Had many a boy sitting behind me (some nice, some not so nice kicked my chair in fact just to be mean, tsk).

    Yet, that's over, and oddly not at times.

    Odd how there are some people that you feel you have known before, I have met a few, and even then they have left my life again. Such is life, Cest la vie...


  9. Will you go see my last couple of posts...I value your response.


  10. Annie, The people who are really interested in the reincarnation and relationship thing, I mean the ones who are adult about it and take on some sophistication will suggest that there are often whole groups who travel through lifetimes together. I think most sophisticates will agree it is hard to bust the barrier between lives and "remember" past lives, that it has been designed like this. At least that's how it seems to me. That is why it is easy to just say these people who remember are making it up. Most of us really don't remember, hypnosis or no hypnosis.

    So when I decided to play the reincarnation card in this relationship I knew I might only be speaking poetically, telling a story because there is no other way to honor the intensity and willingness to be connected than to say this is a resumption of an earlier effloresence of love.

    I am reluctant still to give up that story. Yet I have only played the reincarnation card one time in all my life.

    {{{Michelle}}} I'se a comin girl.

  11. Oh cool! Saturday's was about a relationshi, all relationship's I suppose, that I have left, Monday's about one I am heading into....I'm glad that came across as I am living it.

    Thank you


  12. 'ends' always intrigue me... can we say something has ended when the impact is with us? when we are changed?

    loved the sincere and frank tone in the first poem and the way the experience became cosmic in the second one...


The chicken crossed the road. That's poultry in motion.

Get Your Own Visitor Map!