Not This One, Having Stubbed My Toe

Here comes another odd case. I don't know. I see these pictures. My imagination starts sliding sideways, and then out of this world to some other where things go differently from here. It's a little embarrassing to do this in the middle of an engineering office, but I seem to get away with it here in poetry land. Sort of.

Not This One

I hate it. You get
All weird like an octopus
With haywire hot eyes.
You come right at me
Like that. I don't deserve this!

But maybe I do.
I know I'm confused,
Don't see real straight, not like you.
I thought I would win.

Not this one.

**************************************

I am impatient and impulsive. Back in the last century, closer to its middle than it's end, I knew everything. Well I knew I didn't know everything, but I sure wasn't going to listen to just anyone, especially the guys in authority, because I certainly knew the fix was in.

The fix actually was in. It still is. I am not happy with politicians, but at least as a corporation parasite I see a great deal more that slows me back on the harshness of my criticism. Most everyone is pretty much along for the ride, not in a position to do squat about the important stuff.

Very few of us actually have sufficient degrees of both freedom and power at the critical moments that they actually can act rather than react. And do not be deceived by pomp and circumstance. The obvious "movers and shakers" aren't the real movers and shakers, very much like the apparent rules of professional wrestling are not the real rules. I understand the posturing much better. So many people have such a need to feel in control they are willing to do most anything to keep the illusion alive. It is very sad that this is part of the fuel that feeds our engines and twists our results into disappointing shapes.

We could die of this, and the only solutions are actually spiritual, very much like the spiritual solution required in AA. That is because our situation as a whole is similar. We have multiple addictions to self defeating cultural behaviors, attitudes and postures, and this worldwide. We may not succeed and if we don't our failure will be spiritual. We need help. We lack sufficient power to get to a low risk stability from our too high risk instability. This predicament cannot be solved in a sectarian fashion because it requires a world wide change of heart. Conversion is not the answer, not to capitalism, not to Islam or Christianity, not to the New World Order, not to any other "system" or philosophy or religion. Something more like waking up, contrition, and forgiveness is what is required.

Having Stubbed My Toe

I come back contrite,
Having stubbed my toe on you
And your predictions.
How did you get so wise?

I shall walk your path, go to
The dancing waters,
Sit within their song
So long my beard will grow down
To my empty heart.