This manipulated image demonstrates entanglement, hunh.
Entangled Living
Shall I spend my days
trying to break free of you,
wiping off your web
only to have it
stick to some other angle
of my bound up life?
If I rest easy
I shall hear you humming tunes
while you heat the pot.
Making noise at least
drowns out your steamy intent
while you get the soup.
May 15, 2010 4:39 AM
I guess I am in part thinking about a metaphorically cannibal witch as was the witch in Hansel and Gretel. But then all that is happening at the moment, the soup's a-cookin'. I don't think I'm the only one who has felt the threat of entrapment approach, at least that. More than once I have performed a rapid withdrawal. More than once I have felt the sting of sharp needle teeth in my flesh. Entanglement is a lower level and may actually be a good thing sometimes except for how it can turn on you.
To be fair, there is another deeper feel for this thing. Suppose you have a relationship with God that is nourishing but also contains a responsibility clause. Suppose the manna or in this case the soup comes with a demand for being about the spiritual task. Suppose the entanglement means that it is now difficult to fathom where God begins and you end. Suppose then God begins to have a really high opinion of your capacity to carry burdens.
Oh God, I know you will
never ever lay on me a burden
so large that We cannot carry it.
Oh God, I wish you would stop
having so high an opinion
of my ability to carry my end
of the fucking piano.
:) I have a blanket in this shade. Our assertions, assumptions, and presumptions about God are probably so far afield that He giggles. Right now I have lost my ability to know, or to fall in line with any assumptions. Yet I've gained my ability to own my fallibility. It's all mine. It is my experience that all relationships have a nourishing component, but also an expectancy that I often feel I cannot meet. So...stay away from relationships??? Don't know at this point. Breaking free is a hell of a tough business.
ReplyDeleteI think you will probably find another one or two before your life is done, or they will find you. It's a lot of work to avoid the traps but stay open and often there will be pain no matter what you do. You don't ever have to be this ensnared again. The best love of my life, I knew I was going to hurt because I had to jump all in to love as she needed loving and it was certain not to last. There was no way not to do it and keep my honor.
Deleteyour last line makes me laugh
ReplyDeleteand then i pause knowing what it is to necessarily endure pain.
and still i must laugh. this is just the way it is.
xo
erin
Of course it is. You are supposed to laugh, but only if you can be genuine. Otherwise you may whimper, whine, or cry out or whatever is real. It is best if you can really laugh.
Delete