Thursday, September 16, 2010

Twelve Points

This work by Melanie Delon is one that bears close investigation. I would suggest zooming in on it and wandering around. The details are exquisite.

This is the Wordle that was offered at Big Tent Poetry's Monday prompt. I was directed to use as many words as I could in my poem. I used them all.


Twelve Points
(A Gangland Reverie)

Your half-eaten swarm
of words illuminate us
in frames of debris,
piles a child might build
on a temporary dock
of echoes called up
from the chant, your skirt
swirled to embellish inner
peace.

What's evidence
to me? An answer,
proof of your sturdy backbone
in the scheme of things.

September 16, 2010 6:23 AM
Go here to see all the other contributions to the Big Tent.

27 comments:

  1. What a wonderful start. I can in a way related to half-eaten swarm of words..

    timeless flies search for fries

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  2. Your half-eaten swarm
    of words illuminate us
    in frames of debris

    That the effect that Wordles have on me!

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  3. Hi Christopher, first I'd like to say wonderful response to the wordle prompt! And the next is, I saw your comment, and enjoyed the read very much! Glad to hear my work can inspire more work, lol! Awesome post, man! =)

    -Weasel

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  4. Thank you gautami.

    Jinsky, that's the spirit. We're on to something now.

    Weasel, I can't do what I do without you guys. I write like I'm doing jazz improv. I can't really do all that well without someone else starting it up. It could be a different me in an earlier incarnation, but when it's some other poet it's even better.

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  5. Christopher, nice to meet you here. I liked:

    "Your skirt swirled to embellish inner peace."

    Nicely written!

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  6. I like this a lot especially the image of the child building on a "dock of echoes." Wow.

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  7. A temporary dock of echoes. I love that imagery. And I see I am not the first to make note of it. Very interesting, this reverie!!

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  8. Mary, glad you stopped by. Thank you. I too am particularly fond of that line. It's the sort of line that I say to myself, "now how did I think of that?"

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  9. love the application of words.
    very stunning poem...

    my entry is here

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  10. The image is fantastic, and your words, even if not intended for the image, manage to work very well. I was caught up in both for a while. Thanks

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  11. James, thanks for stopping by. I appreciate that you like the words.

    And nan is right, it is not only a dock of echoes, it is a temporary dock of echoes for with echoes, how could it be other than temporary? That is the welding of image to something the mind and heart can tolerate.

    Jingle thank you. I have visited and commented.

    Yes indeed, Carolee, this has been a heavy poem day. I have five new poems because of the inspirations I have found on this site.

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  12. Anthony, glad to see you. I have gotten busy as you can see.

    I had the words and I had access to the image. It seemed to me that the image fit the words. However, Melanie is a far better artist than I am a poet in my opinion. I am so happy to have found her work.

    I spent quite a long time going to every nook and cranny of that vision making sure I overlooked nothing. It seemed to me there could be a strong message in it. If nothing else the detail in this picture demonstrates with some precision the thing science has also shown, that as you reduce scale you do not decrease complexity. The complexity may at certain critical points reframe itself, but it is no less complex. In this picture there are frames within frames.

    When I was a psychedelic cartoonist the doodles (I still have them) I created were based precisely on that context of frames within frames, smaller areas opening on larger spaces than the top frame displayed, which simply mirrors mankind without and within, that the space of dreams and imagination is bigger than the world, or so it seems.

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  13. An answer that leads to proof is a wonderful thing! Nice poem...

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  14. "proof of your sturdy backbone
    in the scheme of things." This for me was the best part it i amazing how different this group of words is for each of us, I enjoyed your creativity

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  15. i like the idea of the imagination of a child who questions not the beyond of a temporary dock... and thank you for intro to melanie deon... it is a freudian slip to the maximum of weight...

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  16. Amazing that you got all the words in, in such a short poem. Very nicely done.

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  17. I like brevity in a wordle and you have made good use of the words.
    I'm glad you advised to zoom in on the painting. There are thousands of poems in this one..fabulous. Is Melanie Delon a relative of Drop Dead Gorgeous Alain Delon?

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  18. I love the idea of a "half-eaten swarm /of words"

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  19. Thank you all, for your attention, and I am happy that at least one of you found the symbolic narratives within the painting. I like very much the way new worlds are revealed in the depths of it that disappear without complaint at greater distances.

    "Melanie Delon is a digital painter from Paris, France, who works as a freelance illustrator. She works primarily with Photoshop and Painter, along with a drawing tablet, to create stunning and realistic digital portraits. She has won a variety of awards and has had her work featured in many publications as well." (taken from a website I found using Google-she is elusive but has a fairly extensive web presence in relation to her work.)

    I too have found great pleasure in the spaciousness of the wordle. There are several key words, like *dock* which offer several directions to go. There are others like *swarm* which easily permit allusion so that they need not be enslaved in service to the mundane. Not only do bees swarm but so can words.

    I think the whole point of the wordle is brevity. The larger the number of words permitted, the more tenuous is the connection and the wordle no longer has its own voice. To me, then, why bother? The wordle dies and has no living presence.

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  20. That last stanza really got to me, especially: "your sturdy backbone
    in the scheme of things." So comforting to discover that! Well done.

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  21. Hello Christopher, I loved the phrase "piles a child might build
    on a temporary dock
    of echoes called up
    from the chant"
    and the ethereal nature of your poem.

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  22. Imaginative poem that accompanies the image nicely. I love that style of art, but must say that the toy/clown/mechanical spiders are very frightening to me (I love spiders but am very afraid of dolls & clowns -- :-) ) ... love the faraway look in her eye as those wee beasties tangle her.

    Must chime in with other commenters, but also love the title (complete).

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  23. Again, thank you all. I am happy you stopped by Pamela and told me so.

    Christine, no doubt you from time to time need your backbone in this sense.

    Derrick, the words more or less guided the poem. I didn't have an outcome in mind but was happy with what happened by the time I got there. One value of a short poem is that I can hold it all at once.

    Deb, I wonder if she is as troubled by her position as you are. I think she has not or not yet found her wrappings of sik and spidersilk to me that political or dangerous.

    As to the title, for some reason the Five Points of old New York City and the gangs of the early and mid 19th century found there came to mind so I borrowed that idea and envisioned the wordle a dangerous and disputed intersection of 12 points. Also, I would not be surprised if Melanie holds that her digital painting has twelve primary points of focus in it. I think I count close to that many.

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  24. Captivated that words are half-eaten as I try to imagine a half-eaten word. Just like that. The ending is fabulous in that it bugs me when people use silence rather then just make a statement - say something, show the curve/rigidity of your backbone. Thanks.

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  25. Hello, hfwz02. Thank you for your thoughts. A half eaten word seems quite sensible until you try to figure out what that is...

    As for questions, the remedial course, "Poetry For Dummies" taught by my friend coyote asserts fourteen times in the sweep of the course curricula that questions are rarely good fits in poetry. You get away with it sometimes, but leaving poetry with questions is one guide to young poets who have not yet had their leg humped by coyote for emphasis.

    That is embarrassing and messy.

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The chicken crossed the road. That's poultry in motion.


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