Sunday, March 7, 2010

Making A List

This is real enough. Often I pray about my single life, asking God to interpret my need for me. The result is I live quite nicely, me and my old cat - yet I sorely miss the high of new erotic love. I miss the long term settling in. I miss the conversations. I miss the partnership. I have the chance for pieces of an old love from time to time and I think it amazing that I can settle in within minutes as if we never stopped being partners. I am grateful when it is time to part once more that the parting is easy, as if we were never more than friends.

Making A List

Each year I wait, count,
list your appearance nearby,
wonder if you will
come to me again.

I write cryptic notes like this:
-in the garden, and
-again under tree
I add the time and date.

Then I search the place
where you were, looking
for some sign, feather adrift
bent twig, a footprint.

April 18, 2009 1:45 PM


  1. mmmmmmm, you are such a sweetheart,
    i don't understand that no woman lives with you right now, she be so lucky.

  2. I like to believe that men can think like this.....I am pretty sure mine does, just not so prettily.

    If you had just lived down the road......sigh


  3. Made me smile. There might be hope for me yet.

  4. Yeah... I miss this feeling too.

  5. I am not sure why I am lucky this way, or if it is that I have somehow found the discipline. I will say it is not easy and against nature. Men die of lack of women. Women do not die of lack of men. Imagine then, living isolate and really knowing the risk somewhere down deep, that you are going without sufficient oxygen, say, and feeling the edges of you die away. That is what it is like for men.

    If they do not behave well, even when they behave so oddly that they turn you women away, it would do you well to remember that they may well be dying and crazed from it.

    Michelle, I know. Me too. :)

    But Jozien, I think that knowing I have no woman right now might signal something to you you don't get in another way. I turn out different in the flesh than how you see me here... Making the flesh and blood decision is different, perhaps.


The chicken crossed the road. That's poultry in motion.

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