Saturday, April 4, 2009

Spiritual Journey, Delusion

Here's another time, a very short time with the complete other side coming out. This was last Dec. 21, and right at noon on that day. I don't remember the impulse for either, what inspiration came. I will simply say that I basically believe that anything I am capable of thinking up poetically I am capable of living or have lived in some way. So here are two poems. I am quite sure they are connected, but there is a distance between them too. I am afraid I had to work at the first one a little longer. The second one was done in fifteen minutes.

Taking a second look, waking up, getting spiritual help when I try to follow the crowd and it is not right for me. That has happened more than one time in my life, where circumstance conspires against me and pushes me in the direction that I would have chosen had I been wise. That's why I think of God as wily like Coyote is reputed to be. He tricks me sometimes.

Spiritual Journey

That door closed for me
Not that I wanted it to
But it slammed shut, bang!
Sometimes I'm lonely
On this side, as if
The joy is all over there,
Behind that locked door.

Then I remembered.
I had no reason to go
Through it anyway,
Just followed the crowd.

I looked over my shoulder,
Found another life.


This next poem was far too easy to write. I am in the unenviable position of being perfectly capable of following delusion awake, of knowing that I am deluded and going there anyway, of living in the impending consequence saying I knew better, wondering how the Hell can I do this to myself and why? Why? WHY?


You make me your slave,
Paint my eyes with false colors,
Tell me your true lies.
Why do I believe?

I woke up today, again
You brushed me with sweet
Falsehoods. I want them.
God help me, I do want them.
I'll do anything.


  1. Yes and yes.

    The second one is reserved for the occasional day and put away very fast around here.

  2. I like the attitude of the first -- just looked over your shoulder as you moved on. The second is infinitely sadder.

  3. Michelle, a very adult attitude, like the five minute rule on tantrums - I will indulge you for five minutes, then get the flock outta here!

    It is one way to view the success goal of therapy, not to get rid of the issue so much as to get rid of the entrapment. The tantrum or the delusion itself does not cause the problem, the entrapment does.

  4. Karen, I wish I had no experience with the second. But there is another side to this. If you get rid of all the delusion and obsession, you also get rid of most of the stuff of good stories. Great art is about balance within imbalance, about the resolutions of things and that cannot happen if things don't get out of joint. Since the ancient Greeks drama has had two voices, the voice of comedy and of tragedy.

  5. Hmmmm. I never thought of it quite like that. Yes indeed. Thank you

  6. I see that Ghost comes in many guises. Distinct from disguises. Is tinct a word? Guises is. Miss is, but different entirely in character of dismiss.

    Guise is close in meaning to disguise. Wow. Absence of guise is disguise. Opposite of guise is disguise. To disguise is to remove or deprive of guise, or to free from guise. Disguise seems more free than guise itself.

    Thus it is that Ghost comes not in guise but in disguise. :)


The chicken crossed the road. That's poultry in motion.

Get Your Own Visitor Map!