Today I researched. If you put "corn and asparagus planted" and search, here is one image you get. Here is proof. Here is corn, asparagus, then tobacco planted right next to each other in Andalusia, Spain. When I wrote of corn and asparagus originally I had no idea anyone ever planted them together like this.
Tawnya at Red Wolf Poems suggested for this week's posting that poets gather older work from somewhen and do the edit and rewrite we once promised ourselves we would do. She seemed sure that we would all have some. I write poems quickly. I put them away. I have twenty or so recently created in collaboration with Irene. I have several hundred others to pick from but I mostly post the ones I write in response to current prompts. When I bring up the older poems to possibly post, I might decide at that point the poem is crap. That's when it goes into the "Not Posted" folder.
I had two poems in my "Not Posted" folder, put there for rework several years ago. The one contrasted corn with asparagus. The other spoke of a border. I picked them at random, mostly because both titles started with "A" (for the one Asparagus, and the other At). There are many other poems in that folder ranging across the alphabet. I deleted those two poems and kept the images for this one.
Trying It Again
This is the border,
asparagus on that side,
the tall corn on this,
with a ditch between
that I have fallen into
for no particular
reason I've thought of
to this point.
I would prefer
you come to this line,
even give me a hug,
give me a kiss on my cheek.
You'll tell me the lies
you need to tell me.
I'll gather all the wood and get
the pot for our tea.
May 15, 2014 1:55 PM
Written for Red Wolf Poems
Contraction
6 hours ago
Tis a good poem, Christopher.
ReplyDeleteYou're much like me. When I revision a poem I find that the old is just a step-off point for the new because I'm coming from a different place.
I like this... the first stanza is a good symbol for the second. Your condensing two into one works perfectly.
ReplyDeleteI like it! Just as Debi said, they play off each other. Perhaps a single word in the second which references/echoes something in the first would make that synergy even stronger. Thank you so much for including your process notes. I really enjoy those.
ReplyDeleteI love the way the two portions contrast and compliment...and this spoke to me as I have planting on my mind and kissing! :) Excellent poem!
ReplyDeleteI've taken direction and made a small change in the second verse. Thank you, Yousei.
ReplyDelete