I sometimes chew on these ideas, ideas like soul mates, like what it means to commit to a soul mate and then lose her. Twice now I have lost my soul's mate in this lifetime. The pain is exquisite and then the question too is exquisite. If I have found my soul mate but she does not agree with me and departs, or if some illness takes her, then what has happened? Am I mad? I don't think so, but neither do I dare to create explanations. Instead I rejoin the dance.
My Need For Fire
(Revised)
I accept my need
so I've built a sacred fire
as you taught me to.
Now I begin slow
dancing with my lambent dream
around the bright blaze
that holds me here
life after long life as I
chase that flare of flame
where we first appeared.
December 13, 2009 4:33 AM
Rewritten August 12, 2011 4:19 PM
Now only me 8/12/11
ReplyDeleteThe pain is exquisite
My soul cries out from beyond me
Where once there was us
Now only me
The setting for you at my life’s table
Still there, unfilled
Plate just so
Utensils unused, pristine
How else could it be?
Without you in my life
AS before us
Now only me
I think the sacred fire must be different from the one that burns. Unfortunately so many of us seem drawn to the latter, and we neglect the former.
ReplyDeleteMage fire
ReplyDeleteYou drew sacred fire
from that place deep inside me
where I thought I had it well
enough hidden, tamped
down to conceal treacherous smoke.
Now I howl for you,
chase you, hunt you down to find
more of that same magic,
magic that feeds deep hungers
that I had thought gone.
Farewell And What Happened Then
ReplyDeleteYou said you would go
for good early tomorrow
which drove me down, down
and tore a red hole
in me no matter my vow
to hold civilized
before you, take it
in quiet. I could not hold still.
The roar of this pain
came out of my weird
like no howling I have known,
ripping free from me
to stare right at you.
Chritopher, thank you, you have inspired me to share:).
ReplyDeleteEmbers and coals
Embers and coals
The fire used to burn so bright
The passion and wonder
In your eyes danced the flames
The flickering light
Then came the hatred, the anger and disdain.
It poured down like rain
It doused the flame
Now all that remains are embers and coals
A lingering pain.
Jennifer, sweetheart! We all know this pain it seems. Some of us have an advantage - others who love us past the dark and ways to say it that work. Thank you for your art and thank you for being here.
ReplyDeleteit's important to not lust for the fire, but rather to recongize that the passion that the fire is transcends bodies, even though bodies sometimes temporarily house it.
ReplyDeletei too need fire.
xo
erin