tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2377252801421681569.post3962835607110107337..comments2023-10-28T04:53:32.505-07:00Comments on View From The Northern Wall: The Oil Spillchristopherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04201537517464996231noreply@blogger.comBlogger12125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2377252801421681569.post-2654645342796463042010-01-15T19:51:55.675-08:002010-01-15T19:51:55.675-08:00Karen, this is not happy knowledge. There is no w...Karen, this is not happy knowledge. There is no way to redeem the places we must go sometimes, turn them into "lessons" or some such garbage. "You are right where you are supposed to be"...what crap, if this is the place I am in. This is the book of Job here on the planet. <br /><br />I think back, and though I had many people witnessing my passage, no one actually said such shit to me. For that I am very grateful. My wife was dying in my house and taking a long time to do it and taking all hope of retirement with her. I had nowhere to run and few to actually help.<br /><br />I didn't ask for help much. She did get help from friends, one of whom funded her last treatment stay, about 10k. I did place my pain in other people's care however. And then I would go home and drop the dime on my suicidal wife, call 911.<br /><br />I think of medics in Viet Nam. Triage. You let some of them die in the pressure of the moment because there is no other choice. In my life I had a moment like that as we divorced, I knew she would die anyway. But I wouldn't. She passed in 2001. I am still here, still have a mortgage. However, I still have no retirement nine years later. It's what she lived on in her last years.<br /><br />I am still raw, but basically, I am at peace.christopherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04201537517464996231noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2377252801421681569.post-20786202915965367742010-01-15T19:36:38.505-08:002010-01-15T19:36:38.505-08:00Yes. I know :)
xxxYes. I know :)<br /><br />xxxMichellehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00816138640432897870noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2377252801421681569.post-57167417302880489002010-01-15T18:31:22.556-08:002010-01-15T18:31:22.556-08:00You are right, of course. Wise, old soul!You are right, of course. Wise, old soul!Karenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12003379181294550035noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2377252801421681569.post-59167301224234975722010-01-15T15:19:15.876-08:002010-01-15T15:19:15.876-08:00Oy. It is tough, especially when the gulls don'...Oy. It is tough, especially when the gulls don't want your help, even when they know they need it. But the most one can do is make sure they know can turn to you if they want to, no matter what the cost, and that even as they lay dying, it's ultimately their decision.<br /><br />I can't even imagine what it's like for people who have to clean off that oil as their day job.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2377252801421681569.post-74016002343810042632010-01-15T13:31:26.392-08:002010-01-15T13:31:26.392-08:00Thank you, human being. I know you live in compli...Thank you, human being. I know you live in complicated circumstances.christopherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04201537517464996231noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2377252801421681569.post-340167664728824552010-01-15T12:54:45.908-08:002010-01-15T12:54:45.908-08:00'I intervene because I must or else lose my in...'I intervene because I must or else lose my integrity if I leave the situation alone.'<br /><br /><br />this post really touched me deep... loved especially the above sentence... it made me sit here for a long time and think...<br /><br />thanks for sharing your life and feelings with us, christopher... always full of wisdom... and truth...human beinghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09232419187783429903noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2377252801421681569.post-16909236730403867612010-01-15T03:00:21.342-08:002010-01-15T03:00:21.342-08:00Karen, you live with the consequences either way. ...Karen, you live with the consequences either way. What you do or don't do will always contain the echoes of the other choices. Intervention often doesn't work because it always violates rules of integrity. Not intervening doesn't work for the same reason. We are left with the painful truth that integrity is vulnerable and that is a thing we find excruciating, nearly unbearable, and one source of the phrase, "a fate worse than death."christopherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04201537517464996231noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2377252801421681569.post-5920537859743227502010-01-15T02:52:04.807-08:002010-01-15T02:52:04.807-08:00Michelle, I am tracking with you on your journey, ...Michelle, I am tracking with you on your journey, know the path you are walking. The grand sweep hardly matters in the moment. I had to clean the bed, mop up the mess on the floor, wash the clothes. I had to visit the hospitals. Yes, I know. I love you. I am by the way not the only one who knows, dear.christopherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04201537517464996231noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2377252801421681569.post-87761252847511619632010-01-15T02:49:54.497-08:002010-01-15T02:49:54.497-08:00I am the other person, watching someone I love slo...I am the other person, watching someone I love slowly kill herself and eating away at myself daily for not kidnapping her to save her. You're so right, Christopher, it's 911 for the caller's soul. What is a soul to do?Karenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12003379181294550035noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2377252801421681569.post-43704535953670028242010-01-15T02:04:28.055-08:002010-01-15T02:04:28.055-08:00Oh god, yes..... been there done that on both ends...Oh god, yes..... been there done that on both ends of the stick.<br />I don't like the slick.....nope, don't like it at all.<br />Just for today I will accept that I am powerless over another's death....<br />xxxxMichellehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00816138640432897870noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2377252801421681569.post-63524677839933266802010-01-14T22:00:29.487-08:002010-01-14T22:00:29.487-08:00Pharma gives a list of possible side effects for t...Pharma gives a list of possible side effects for the drugs prescribed. We don't even try to establish the possible side effects of emotional pressures.<br /><br />My mom and dad taught me to hate them in the fourth grade. They didn't mean to do that but it is what they did. I didn't do anything about it until my teen years.christopherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04201537517464996231noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2377252801421681569.post-5717272141013995832010-01-14T20:35:59.478-08:002010-01-14T20:35:59.478-08:00I can relate to that gull--though never "kidn...I can relate to that gull--though never "kidnapped" as an adult, I was subject to an awful lot of "professional help" I didn't consent to as a child and adolescent (well, technically, my parents said I wouldn't have to go if I didn't want to, I said I didn't want to, and they kept pushing until I said yes...a repeated numerous times over my teenage years). And, ultimately, this "help," well meaning as it might have been, did little but give a professional seal to a deep feelings that there was something inherently wrong with me. As such, I've found it very difficult, ever since, to let anyone help me, even when I ask them to...YogaforCynicshttp://yogaforcynics.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.com